BOWEN THEORY 鲍文家庭治疗理论心理学空间

Apart from her fairly intense anxieties about Amy, Martha's second pregnancywas easier than the first. A daughter, Marie, was born without complications.This time Michael took more time away from work to help at home, feeling andseeing that Martha seemed "on the edge." He took over many household duties andwas even more directive of Martha. Martha was obsessed with Amy feelingdisplaced by Marie and gave in even more to Amy's demands for attention. Marthaand Amy began to get into struggles over how available Martha could be to her.When Michael would get home at night, he would take Amy off her mother's handsand entertain her. He also began feeling neglected himself and quitedisappointed in Martha's lack of coping ability..

Martha had done some drinking before she married Michael and after Amy wasborn, but stopped completely during the pregnancy with Marie. When Marie was afew months old, however, Martha began drinking again, mostly wine during theevenings, and much more than in the past. She somewhat tried to cover up theamount of drinking she did, feeling Michael would be critical of it. He was. Heaccused her of not trying, not caring, and being selfish. Martha felt he wasright. She felt less and less able to make decisions and more and more dependenton Michael. She felt he deserved better, but also resented his criticism andpatronizing. She drank more, even during the day. Michael began calling her analcoholic.

[Analysis: The pattern of sickness in aspouse has emerged, with Martha as the one making the most adjustments in herfunctioning to preserve harmony in the marriage. It is easier for Martha to bethe problem than to stand up to Michael's diagnosing her and, besides, she feelsshe really is the problem. As the pattern unfolds, Michael increasingly overfunctions and Martha increasingly under functions. Michael is as allergic toconflict as Martha is, opting to function for her rather than risk thedisharmony he would trigger by expecting her to function more responsibly.]

By the time Amy and Marie were both in school, Martha reached a serious lowpoint. She felt worthless and out of control. She felt Michael did everything,but that she could not talk to him. Her doctor was concerned about her physicalhealth. Finally, Martha confided in him about the extent of her drinking.Michael had been pushing her to get help, but Martha had reached a point ofresisting almost all of Michael's directives. However, her doctor scared her andshe decided to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Martha felt completely accepted bythe A.A. group and greatly relieved to tell her story. She stopped drinkingalmost immediately and developed a very close connection to her sponsor, anolder woman. She felt she could be herself with the people at A.A. in a way shecould not be with Michael. She began to function much better at home, began apart-time job, but also attended A.A. meetings frequently. Michael hadcomplained bitterly about her drinking, but now he complained about herpreoccupation with her new found A.A. friends. Martha gained a certain strengthfrom her new friends and was encouraged by them "to stand up" to Michael. Shedid. They began fighting frequently. Martha felt more like herself again.Michael was bitter.

[Analysis: Martha's involvement with A.A.helped her stop drinking, but it did not solve the family problem. The level offamily tension has not changed and the emotional distance in the marriage hasnot changed. Because of "borrowing strength" from her A.A. group, Martha is moreinclined to fight with Michael than to go along and internalize the anxiety.This means the marital pattern has shifted somewhat from dysfunction in a spouseto marital conflict, but the family has not changed in a basic way. In otherwords, Martha's level of differentiation of self has not changed through herA.A. involvement, but her functioning has improved.]